Looking over my life, I could say the same. In fact, I would probably say exactly the same thing. Which brings me to this post. Sitting across from my mother at the Red Lobster, we traded gripes about the size of the portions for the price and the poor service. Meanwhile, down at the end of the table, my brother and his wife were laughing and playing with their children. My sister and her boyfriend were talking about how delicious the bread was.

Hmmpf. I said. This bread is burned. I want some fresh bread.

Yuck. I said. This tea takes like seafood. Does anyone else’s tea taste like seafood?

WTH?! I said. Look at this pitiful salad!

Complain. Complain. Complain.

I flashed forward 30 years. It was my 65th birthday party and God-willing, I was in good health and surrounded by my husband, my kids and my grandkids. I was ordering hot water – in a glass, not a cup, please – and complaining about the food and the service at Red Lobster. I was a delightful person that everyone in town loved. I helped people whenever I could. But around my family, the people who I loved and who loved me most, I was Grandma Nelly Negative.

I don’t want that to become my reality.

If you knew me personally, you would know that I am a worrier. This worrying nature leads to a LOT of negativity. But what I realized today at that table was that I have a lot of my mother’s negative qualities, but not a lot of her good ones. You see, despite my mother’s challenges throughout her life, she always has a smile on her face. She has a connection to spirit unlike anyone I know – her faith in God is absolute. She is one of the most giving people that I know, and she is a comforter. She lives, in her own way, a life of gratitude. She is supremely thankful for everything that she has and so, she is always blessed.

In the last ten years, I’ve made a lot of mistakes–mistakes that may come back to haunt me later in life. I have been a smoker. I have been overweight. I have been an excessive worrier. I have obsessed over death and disease. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to look forward, because I am so very afraid of what the future will bring. I am afraid of the consequences of my choices. Yet, I understand now more than ever that I can still choose, in the face of what may come and what WILL come, to live a life of gratitude, to strengthen my resolve to appreciate each day, and to appreciate my family and to make better choices.

For the last two weeks, we’ve been doing health challenges. The first week, we completed the water challenge. The second week, we completed the sleep challenge. This week’s challenge is gratitude. We will incorporate the first two week’s challenges and add in gratitude. I believe that if I live everyday with thanks in my heart that it truly will not matter what comes. I will rise to the challenge and I will know that I lived a life that was truly worth living.

And I’ll work on being a little more positive about Red Lobster.

Photo by Aussiegall.

And the winner, with number 247 is….KAMEKA! Way to go girl! You win a new Kleen Kanteen Water Bottle – complete with coozy! Just send me a message through Facebook with your contact information and I’ll get it out to you!

But WAIT…there’s more!

We actually had TWO Klean Kanteen Water Bottles to give away (see – this is why you should ALWAYS participate! you could get something for FREE!)! And the winner of the second bottle, with a number of 557 is…STACEY! Way to go! Same thing as above–just send me your address via Facebook and I’ll send you your prize!

Congratulations and thanks for doing the water challenge with me! I really think that 16oz per day is doable and that I can add this to my daily routine.

Next Week’s Challenge is SLEEP. The goal – for ONE WEEK is to get 8-9 hours of sleep per night. This week, though, I’ll have some action steps to help get you there.

Don’t forget to join our Facebook group to log your progress! Good luck!

It could be anything.

Stop thinking about it.

Do it.

On “Get Off Your Ass” Friday, all ya gotta do is one thing to get your a step closer to your [insert your goal, dream, plan, idea here]. And, I’d love to hear about it.

As we started out on our two-mile walk, though, I started to feel badly. Poor Max, I thought. He’s been cooped up in the house all week. I’ll just be patient today and let him sniff as much as he wants. After all, I needed to let a dog be a dog, right? And so, Max stopped at every tree and took his sweet time sniffing the snow and bark and dog poo. I started to become impatient. Max needed his exercise; otherwise, he would become a Tazmanian Devil once we got back home. So, I tightened up on the leash again.

Of course, this was just as disastrous. Now, Max, who had become accustomed to stopping and dallying for as long as he wanted, really started to pull. I spent the rest of the walk just trying to keep him in line so that we could both get a reasonable amount of exercise. Once I got back home, wiped the goop out of his eyes, it occurred to me that working on our bad habits is much like walking a bad-ass dog that you happen to adore. In order to be successful when we’re walking the “dog” of our bad habits, we have to remember three things: don’t start with too short a leash, don’t start to feel sorry for the dog, and once you begin the walk, stay focused.

Don’t Start With Too Short a Leash

When we begin to change our bad habits, we often severely restrict ourselves. Take caution with this approach. If we begin with a very taut leash, we become very frustrated with continuously reeling ourselves in and our “dog” natures become even more resistant to change. Instead, we have to be reasonable, gradually shortening the leash of our bad habits by changing our behaviors. For example, in the case of me and Max, I could start with a loose leash, gradually shortening it throughout the walk or throughout a series of walks. This would help Max to become used to a shorter leash without feeling so restricted (okay—so, I care about my dog. I’m no Cesar Milan, okay? I believe dogs have feelings too.) This is why many “quit smoking” programs encourage you to cut back before your quit or to start tracking cigarettes. Gradually, your “dog” nature starts to get the picture.

Don’t Start to Feel Sorry for the Dog

If there is one thing that I have learned from watching “It’s Me or the Dog” and “The Dog Whisperer,” it’s that dogs want to be disciplined. They need structure, and they require discipline in order to be happt. Dogs that do not have a clear “master/owner” can become very unstable. When they feel like they have to lead the pack, they can become overly aggressive or exhibit other behavioral problems. When we start to feel sorry for our dogs and to humanize them, we run into a lot of trouble. We start to feed them fast food, and they start to get diagnosed with human diseases. We give them too many treats, and they stop obeying our commands unless we give them something. We buy them expensive bedding and they rip it to shreds (Oh wait! How did that one get in there, Max? Oh, no. I’m not bitter at all.)

In the case of habits, feeling sorry for our dog “natures” is really about feeling sorry for ourselves. We feel like we deserve to [insert bad habit here]. So, we start to cater to our desires and not to be disciplined. Remember that like a dog, our inner man secretly wants to be disciplined. This is a universe of order and we desperately crave it.

Once You Begin the Walk, Stay Focused

If you start the walk on a short leash, keep the dog on a short leash – stay focused. The short leash means that you’re walking for exercise—that you’re staying on task. Sometimes, in the middle of the walk, you’ll find that the leash has gotten longer and your dog has strayed farther. No problem. It’s not too late to course correct. Simply take a deep breath, call your dog to his place and begin again. With some practice, course correction will become second nature for both of you.

With habits, I’ve found the same to be true. Once you make the decision to change, stick with it–no matter what. And when you find yourself in the middle of a bad habit, beating yourself up is not the appropriate course correct. Just take a deep breath, call your “dog” nature to his place and begin again. With time, you and your “dog” will be in sync. Maybe you’ll even be able to walk him off-leash.