Looking over my life, I could say the same. In fact, I would probably say exactly the same thing. Which brings me to this post. Sitting across from my mother at the Red Lobster, we traded gripes about the size of the portions for the price and the poor service. Meanwhile, down at the end of the table, my brother and his wife were laughing and playing with their children. My sister and her boyfriend were talking about how delicious the bread was.

Hmmpf. I said. This bread is burned. I want some fresh bread.

Yuck. I said. This tea takes like seafood. Does anyone else’s tea taste like seafood?

WTH?! I said. Look at this pitiful salad!

Complain. Complain. Complain.

I flashed forward 30 years. It was my 65th birthday party and God-willing, I was in good health and surrounded by my husband, my kids and my grandkids. I was ordering hot water – in a glass, not a cup, please – and complaining about the food and the service at Red Lobster. I was a delightful person that everyone in town loved. I helped people whenever I could. But around my family, the people who I loved and who loved me most, I was Grandma Nelly Negative.

I don’t want that to become my reality.

If you knew me personally, you would know that I am a worrier. This worrying nature leads to a LOT of negativity. But what I realized today at that table was that I have a lot of my mother’s negative qualities, but not a lot of her good ones. You see, despite my mother’s challenges throughout her life, she always has a smile on her face. She has a connection to spirit unlike anyone I know – her faith in God is absolute. She is one of the most giving people that I know, and she is a comforter. She lives, in her own way, a life of gratitude. She is supremely thankful for everything that she has and so, she is always blessed.

In the last ten years, I’ve made a lot of mistakes–mistakes that may come back to haunt me later in life. I have been a smoker. I have been overweight. I have been an excessive worrier. I have obsessed over death and disease. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to look forward, because I am so very afraid of what the future will bring. I am afraid of the consequences of my choices. Yet, I understand now more than ever that I can still choose, in the face of what may come and what WILL come, to live a life of gratitude, to strengthen my resolve to appreciate each day, and to appreciate my family and to make better choices.

For the last two weeks, we’ve been doing health challenges. The first week, we completed the water challenge. The second week, we completed the sleep challenge. This week’s challenge is gratitude. We will incorporate the first two week’s challenges and add in gratitude. I believe that if I live everyday with thanks in my heart that it truly will not matter what comes. I will rise to the challenge and I will know that I lived a life that was truly worth living.

And I’ll work on being a little more positive about Red Lobster.

Photo by Aussiegall.