It’s been a while since I’ve posted on helpyourselfblog.com for a number of reasons. Primarily, I began to doubt my ability to help myself, or anyone else. Challenge after challenge – drinking water, quitting smoking, weight loss – I failed. Just how exactly was I supposed to inspire others to action when I couldn’t complete the tasks myself? I suppose that wasn’t something that I ever sincerely calculated when I threw this blog up and started to promote it. I put the cart before the horse – as the old saying goes.
I have come to understand that I cannot help myself. Let me repeat that: I cannot help myself. Sure, there are behaviors that I can try to modify and there are habits I can try to curb, but that’s not the true nature of help.
to help: to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; contribute strength or means to; render assistance to; to save; rescue; to remedy, stop, or prevent.
That is the definition of “to help.” I cannot do any of those things in my own strength. I cannot provide what is necessary to others to help when I don’t have it myself. I cannot save or rescue myself. I cannot save or rescue anyone else. This is a hard truth to come to terms with.
In the Bible, Paul describes his frustration in his inability to change. In Romans 7:15 he says:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
Yep. that sounds a lot like me. Glad to know that I was in such good company!
Years ago, I considered myself a very religious person. I read my Bible, prayed daily and attended worship services frequently. But when my beliefs no longer fit my worldview, when I found it difficult to reconcile what I had learned in my church and what was happening in my life, I turned away. There are still times when I read a biblical commentary from some idiot on the web and cringe. There are still times when I hear televangelists simplify life’s problems into God “building our characters” at our own expense that I shudder. Most days, I don’t know what to believe. But what I do know for sure is that I cannot “help” myself. True assistance can only come from a connection to a higher consciousness.
As Albert Einstein so eloquently put it:
you cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.
And the Bible in Romans 12:2:
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.
So, this is what I will seek. This is not to say that I will no longer post on helpyourselfblog.com, but I will stop doing challenges, trying to push myself to conform into some mold that doesn’t fit my spirit – even when it is good for me. Rather, I will try to share information that will help to bring me closer to my goal and to create a community where we can all learn from each others’ lessons.
Thank you for your patience in my absence. I appreciate each and every one of you.
–Tiffany
Hey Tiff, I was wondering what happened but figured you'd update when you were ready.
I understand your sentiment here, but I disagree with your conclusion (isn't it funny how I disagree and I'm not living inside your head?). We both write in the same niche, and I've failed at some things too. But when I get comments that I've inspired other people to improve their lives, or that I wrote something that made someone's day a bit better, that really helps me to keep going through the times I'm not successful.
And long-term change takes time. You may not be successful on your first or second attempt, but you weren't successful on making those bad habits stick on the first or second attempt either. Keep going hon, I'm rooting for you! I believe this is the part of the definition of help that you're fulfilling for yourself: "contribute strength or means to". Can you say that you've grown since you've been blogging about helping yourself? Are you contributing strength to yourself, or the MEANS to change? If yes, then keep striving and I'm pretty sure the change you see will come…
Anilia –
Much needed encouragement today! I appreciate it. I have been stewing for a long time on this topic and then finally felt moved to write. I desperately want to make changes, I just have not found whatever it is that motivates me. It is said that change can only happen through crisis. I read this on a blog recently: "unlikely it is that any one of us will ever change very much if we keep doing things the same way and thinking the same thoughts which lead to the same emotions, like an endless, boring cycle in our brains." I don't want to wait for a crisis. We fail, we fall, we get up. Then we repeat the cycle. But when does change happen? I suppose I am contributing something to myself, but I don't know what. Maybe we should tackle this idea in a series and see what comes of it. I'd love to have your input, or a guest post. ") Love to you. You inspire me.
I wish you the best of luck with all your endeavors….:)
Thanks so much, Ms. Freeman! I appreciate you!