Comments on: Why People Don’t Want You to Be Who You Are http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/ Sat, 24 Jul 2010 06:27:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: bloominglater http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-182 bloominglater Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:27:09 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-182 Anilia - as much as we might not like to hear it, you're right. we attract people based on a lot of things - the most important thing: our vibration. If we're sending out negative vibrations, we'll attract negativity and then the more we focus on it, the more it expands. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Then again, when we are sending out positive vibrations, we attract positive things. Example: I've found your blog just as I seek to motivate others. So, we send out mixed signals and then get mixed results. My friend in question is a good one - she is thoughtful, helpful and kind. This said, this entire story shows me that we must think best of ourselves first and always understand intimately exactly who we are. That way, we can deflect negativity and absorb positivity. Anilia – as much as we might not like to hear it, you're right. we attract people based on a lot of things – the most important thing: our vibration. If we're sending out negative vibrations, we'll attract negativity and then the more we focus on it, the more it expands. It's a pretty vicious cycle. Then again, when we are sending out positive vibrations, we attract positive things. Example: I've found your blog just as I seek to motivate others. So, we send out mixed signals and then get mixed results. My friend in question is a good one – she is thoughtful, helpful and kind. This said, this entire story shows me that we must think best of ourselves first and always understand intimately exactly who we are. That way, we can deflect negativity and absorb positivity.

]]> By: bloominglater http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-181 bloominglater Fri, 12 Mar 2010 02:11:47 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-181 Anilia-right on! I agree with you 100%. Our inability to "fix" ourselves forces us to project onto others. It's just much easier than really looking at yourself. The problem as I see it is that we look for people to help us to identify areas that need to be addressed that we cannot see. You just have to be very careful about the feedback that you receive. As much as people want to help, every opinion is colored by your own experience. Anilia-right on! I agree with you 100%. Our inability to "fix" ourselves forces us to project onto others. It's just much easier than really looking at yourself. The problem as I see it is that we look for people to help us to identify areas that need to be addressed that we cannot see. You just have to be very careful about the feedback that you receive. As much as people want to help, every opinion is colored by your own experience.

]]> By: Anilia http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-180 Anilia Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:47:48 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-180 I think I can summarize your 3 reasons why people don't allow you to be who you are into 1 reason: people incorrectly hold others responsible for their own happiness. The only person that can make me happy is me. If Your light shines brighter than mine, I'm giving you implicit permission to make me feel bad by comparing myself to you. Thats not your fault, thats mine. You're doing what makes you happy and I should do the same. Me telling you that there's something wrong with you, that you should fit into a particular box, that your opinions are wrong, are my attempts to hold you responsible for my happiness. Doesn't that just suck? I think I can summarize your 3 reasons why people don't allow you to be who you are into 1 reason: people incorrectly hold others responsible for their own happiness. The only person that can make me happy is me. If Your light shines brighter than mine, I'm giving you implicit permission to make me feel bad by comparing myself to you. Thats not your fault, thats mine. You're doing what makes you happy and I should do the same. Me telling you that there's something wrong with you, that you should fit into a particular box, that your opinions are wrong, are my attempts to hold you responsible for my happiness. Doesn't that just suck?

]]> By: Anilia http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-179 Anilia Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:47:23 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-179 As I was reading the part about what others thought of you, my first thought was "she was attracting people who reflected what she thought about herself". I think we draw people to us based on how we see ourselves, and everything that we see may not be everything that they see. Like how your friend saw your opinions as judging people and negative, and you clearly did not. I don't think there's anything wrong with what either you or she thinks... like you said, on to the next one! Whats crazy is that there are so many people who didn't get the advice that your brother gave to you, so they're still walking around being hurt by friends who don't reflect their positive thoughts about themselves. I have some realllll unpopular opinions too, and I've always been uber-opinionated. So much so that in college I started The Protest List: my list of people and notions that make no damn sense and get on my last nerves. Now its a joke between me and my closest friends: "girl, I had to put Michael Baisden on the Protest List today!" As I was reading the part about what others thought of you, my first thought was "she was attracting people who reflected what she thought about herself". I think we draw people to us based on how we see ourselves, and everything that we see may not be everything that they see. Like how your friend saw your opinions as judging people and negative, and you clearly did not. I don't think there's anything wrong with what either you or she thinks… like you said, on to the next one! Whats crazy is that there are so many people who didn't get the advice that your brother gave to you, so they're still walking around being hurt by friends who don't reflect their positive thoughts about themselves.

I have some realllll unpopular opinions too, and I've always been uber-opinionated. So much so that in college I started The Protest List: my list of people and notions that make no damn sense and get on my last nerves. Now its a joke between me and my closest friends: "girl, I had to put Michael Baisden on the Protest List today!"

]]> By: bloominglater http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-178 bloominglater Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:15:21 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-178 cate - you know me TOO well! i probably told you the above, too, huh? well? look at you! your husband and son look like they could step out of a magazine and they're sweet to boot--which you deserve! thanks so much for giving me the encouragement that i needed this week! cate – you know me TOO well! i probably told you the above, too, huh? well? look at you! your husband and son look like they could step out of a magazine and they're sweet to boot–which you deserve! thanks so much for giving me the encouragement that i needed this week!

]]> By: bloominglater http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-177 bloominglater Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:13:53 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-177 Cortney - thanks so much! For some reason, I was getting it from all sides this week. I finally just stood up and said: "wait a damn minute! i'm entitled to my opinions, even when they're unpopular." it helps to be reminded every now and then, huh? =) thanks so much for subscribing to the blog. i hope that you'll continue to find something of use here! Cortney – thanks so much! For some reason, I was getting it from all sides this week. I finally just stood up and said: "wait a damn minute! i'm entitled to my opinions, even when they're unpopular." it helps to be reminded every now and then, huh? =) thanks so much for subscribing to the blog. i hope that you'll continue to find something of use here!

]]> By: cortney http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-173 cortney Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:19:57 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-173 I recently subscribed to your blog, and this is the best one one yet!!! I wouldn't consider any of those statements judgmental. They are your opinions, and you are allowed to have them!! Most of us have them, some people are simply not bold enough to share them, or can't form ideas that are their own and dont have the knowledge or courage to back their ideas up!! I recently subscribed to your blog, and this is the best one one yet!!! I wouldn't consider any of those statements judgmental. They are your opinions, and you are allowed to have them!! Most of us have them, some people are simply not bold enough to share them, or can't form ideas that are their own and dont have the knowledge or courage to back their ideas up!!

]]> By: Cate http://helpyourselfblog.com/2010/03/why-people-dont-want-you-to-be-who-you-are/comment-page-1/#comment-172 Cate Wed, 10 Mar 2010 00:19:27 +0000 http://helpyourselfblog.com/?p=852#comment-172 Several years ago I was going through a rough break up and kept asking myself why I was not enough and what was wrong with me that he didn't want me anymore. A wise judgmental friend told me exactly this: Cate, because you're crazy! But guess what? One day you'll find a man who will say the following, "Yeah, my woman's crazy, but she's my crazy woman and I love her!" Fast forward to the present and I got exactly that. A husband who loves me as I am and friends who appreciate my corky, overly dramatic personality. Your brother is absolutely right! There is nothing wrong with you, you are perfect exactly as you are! I wouldn't have you any other way friend! Several years ago I was going through a rough break up and kept asking myself why I was not enough and what was wrong with me that he didn't want me anymore. A wise judgmental friend told me exactly this: Cate, because you're crazy! But guess what? One day you'll find a man who will say the following, "Yeah, my woman's crazy, but she's my crazy woman and I love her!" Fast forward to the present and I got exactly that. A husband who loves me as I am and friends who appreciate my corky, overly dramatic personality. Your brother is absolutely right! There is nothing wrong with you, you are perfect exactly as you are! I wouldn't have you any other way friend!

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