I tell my friends this all the time when I’m giving them advice: I say most things so that I will hear them first. Me…first. Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, I can get on with this post. There are three reasons that you’re not doing exactly what it is you want to be doing with your life and your career. (Well, there could be more than three, but these are the big ones.)

You’re Still Under the Mistaken Impression That There Are Rules to Life

You have to get up and go to work at a job you hate because you need to make a good living, right? Travel is something that’s reserved for retirees, huh? You’re just too old to break into a new career—you’d have to go back to school and get an internship—c’mon, everybody knows that.

False. False. False. If I’ve learned anything in this life, it’s that it’s unpredictable. There are no rules, despite what we were raised to believe. There is no linear path that guarantees success. Rather, the most successful among us, in terms of fulfillment, do things their own way.

Sir Richard Branson never finished high school; instead, he launched the empire that is now Virgin at 20 years old. Barack Obama never held a governorship; yet he has gone on to become the President of the United States. Gabourey Sidibe had never seriously acted in her life; still she went on to be nominated for an Oscar for her portrayal in “Precious.” The list goes on and on. Branson didn’t think that a high school diploma was a prerequisite for success; hell! he started his first business at 16. Obama didn’t believe that the only way he could lead the country was by sitting through four years in a governor’s mansion. Sidibe didn’t decide to take acting classes for two years before auditioning for her Academy-nominated role. Conventional wisdom says that each of these people should have deferred their dreams until they had finished one more course or step on the path. The difference between them and you is that they realize that there is no path.

Or, in the words of the little bald-headed boy waiting to see the Oracle in The Matrix: There is no spoon.

You Underestimate Your Talent

You want to be a designer, or a photographer, or an entrepreneur. You’ve seen other people be successful doing what you want to do—you even know some of them. You just aren’t in their league.

I call bullshit on that one.

If you don’t believe you’re good enough, try a little experiment: google some of the folks that do what you want to do and take a look at their sites. Yes, you’ll be in awe two times, but you will be in disbelief ten times. You’ll wonder how the hell that person gets any clients at all. You’ll realize that you’re just as good, if not better than the people out there making a living doing what they love. The only difference? They’re out there doing what they love.

You’re Not Surrounded by Like-Minded People

People who are trying to lose weight can join Weight Watchers. Alcoholics can join AA. Washed up actors and Kevin Federline (why is he famous, again?) can join Celebrity Fit Club. They all have one thing in common; they’re a group of people joined together by a common goal. The same holds true with living a wildly successful life. You’ve got to surround yourself with people who not only believe that YOU can achieve your goals, but people who are achieving theirs as well. Millenials have this down pat already. Websites like untemplater.com are out there to do just that: provide a community of like-minded millenials who refuse to believe in a “template” lifestyle. So, survey your friends and find the ones who are on the same path and team up. Or, join a Facebook group like help yourself to get some of the support you need. Either way, there’s a reason for the saying that: “birds of a feather flock together.” That means they’re all flying in the same direction.

Photo by DPlanet