I spent the weekend with my family to celebrate my mother’s 68th birthday. Visiting my mother is always just a little bit stressful because, though I love my mother dearly, she is very, very negative. I tell myself that this is not her fault. She has had a rough life. In fact, if you ask her, she’ll say that her life has been a living hell. Now, that’s a rosy outlook. If you pressed her on this, she’d say that we were her bright spots: my Dad, my three siblings and I, and my five nieces and nephews. But overall, she sees her life as one filled with hardship, disappointment, and pain.
Looking over my life, I could say the same. In fact, I would probably say exactly the same thing. Which brings me to this post. Sitting across from my mother at the Red Lobster, we traded gripes about the size of the portions for the price and the poor service. Meanwhile, down at the end of the table, my brother and his wife were laughing and playing with their children. My sister and her boyfriend were talking about how delicious the bread was.
Hmmpf. I said. This bread is burned. I want some fresh bread.
Yuck. I said. This tea takes like seafood. Does anyone else’s tea taste like seafood?
WTH?! I said. Look at this pitiful salad!
Complain. Complain. Complain.
I flashed forward 30 years. It was my 65th birthday party and God-willing, I was in good health and surrounded by my husband, my kids and my grandkids. I was ordering hot water – in a glass, not a cup, please – and complaining about the food and the service at Red Lobster. I was a delightful person that everyone in town loved. I helped people whenever I could. But around my family, the people who I loved and who loved me most, I was Grandma Nelly Negative.
I don’t want that to become my reality.
If you knew me personally, you would know that I am a worrier. This worrying nature leads to a LOT of negativity. But what I realized today at that table was that I have a lot of my mother’s negative qualities, but not a lot of her good ones. You see, despite my mother’s challenges throughout her life, she always has a smile on her face. She has a connection to spirit unlike anyone I know – her faith in God is absolute. She is one of the most giving people that I know, and she is a comforter. She lives, in her own way, a life of gratitude. She is supremely thankful for everything that she has and so, she is always blessed.
In the last ten years, I’ve made a lot of mistakes–mistakes that may come back to haunt me later in life. I have been a smoker. I have been overweight. I have been an excessive worrier. I have obsessed over death and disease. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to look forward, because I am so very afraid of what the future will bring. I am afraid of the consequences of my choices. Yet, I understand now more than ever that I can still choose, in the face of what may come and what WILL come, to live a life of gratitude, to strengthen my resolve to appreciate each day, and to appreciate my family and to make better choices.
For the last two weeks, we’ve been doing health challenges. The first week, we completed the water challenge. The second week, we completed the sleep challenge. This week’s challenge is gratitude. We will incorporate the first two week’s challenges and add in gratitude. I believe that if I live everyday with thanks in my heart that it truly will not matter what comes. I will rise to the challenge and I will know that I lived a life that was truly worth living.
And I’ll work on being a little more positive about Red Lobster.
Photo by Aussiegall.
Truly inspiring. Reminds me of how much I have to be grateful for.
Thank you so much, Marcia. I am grateful that you read this post and commented. I am grateful for your love and support. I am grateful that I have always and will always call you friend.
WOW, you have no clue how close this hits to home!
I am a worrier too and it often makes me negative to my family (the ones closest to me). I can totally relate. Let's think of all we are grateful for this week!!!!! Who else is up for the challenge? I'm still working on the sleep from last week
LOL! Thanks, Rachel! I haven't done such a good job thus far, but I am grateful that I read this post – it reminds me to be grateful! I'm going to post everyday on the "help yourself" facebook group page one thing that I am grateful for. Feel free to do the same – that may help you keep the rhythm! Thanks a lot! T
Tiffany, I couldn've written this myself! Well…except from the "I used to be a complainer and now I'm not" POV… Gratitude was something I added slowly and over time it has taken over my outlook. I still have days where I'm not so good at it, but overall I make the guiding aim of my reactions to be as happy as possible. That way, the burnt edges of those cheddar biscuits or fishy tea don't matter that much. B/c they're small in comparison to all the great things that the Universe has provided in that moment – like the laughter of my nieces and nephews, time to enjoy my mom's presence, and the next basket of cheddar biscuits that will be oh so yummy =) I hope you get alot out of this week's challenge and I'm grateful that you wrote about it.
Anilia: I was so excited to read your comment, to know that a life of
I
gratitude is truly possible. I'll tell you what though-as soon as I
set about this task today, the forces of evil came at me.
completely lost my focus. But reading this comment has encouraged me
once again!
oh yeah, that'll happen! And you'll go months where you're totally grateful, then BAM something with happen that'll make you curse the skies. But you can always just start again =) We're rooting for ya! And doesn't gratitude feel SO good!
It DOES. I have to admit, though, I am struggling with it this week. I got into a couple of skirmishes and I'm just feeling a little bit low. Just blah. But you've cheered me up! I'll press on!
I like the blog redesign btw.
YAYY! I'm thinking of changing it again…just a lil bit! =)
Great Post! It reminded me of a Daily Bread entry I read last month. I just looked it up. The original "seven deadly sins" list was actually 8, with the 8th being the sin of sadness. I never thought of it like this before but some people are just blessed with a cheerful disposition and others seem to be chronically sad and continually complain about life and its burdens. John 16:22 says "Your joy no one will take from you." That joy is the fruit of the indwelling Holly Spirit (Gal. 5:22) We need to look beyond our sorrowful circumstances and encourage our hears by the vision of joy that awaits us (Heb.12:2)
(Taken from Jan 25 Daily Bread devotional)
Didn't mean to get all 'preachy' but this made an impact on my life and thought I'd share.
Dara – I'm so glad that you stopped by to comment on this post. I find it so enlightening that the 8th deadly sin was sadness. Wow. That really resonates with me. I think that you are one of those people with a naturally cheerful disposition. I wish that I were. But I think what you are saying is that whether you have a cheerful disposition or not, we have to look beyond our circumstances to the grace we have been given in every situation. Glad you got preachy! That was powerful! How differently we'd look at sadness if we knew God saw it as sin, huh?