There comes a time in every man’s life when he gets tired of foolin’ around…

–Prince

It’s day eight of “becoming an ex” and I’ve hit a wall. I’m sputtering and about to stall. I know exactly what my triggers are, I know when and why I smoke, and I know how many cigarettes I smoke per day. What I don’t know is why I haven’t moved forward at all. I’m still averaging the same number of cigarettes a day and counting the minutes (10 minutes per car ride to be exact) to when I can light up.

Somehow, I don’t think that’s the point of this exercise.

Phase I – Identifying Your Triggers (3 days)

Phase II – Separation (5 days)

I suppose it’s time for the next step. Until now, I have been patting myself on the back. I have more self-control; I feel more in control of my addiction. But you can’t play with it. You can never forget that you’re NOT in control of your addiction: it’s in control of you.

The pragmatist in me says that I should keep tracking for two more days—make it an even two weeks since I started this process. But the realist in me knows that it’s time to move on, before I get to comfortable in my “self-control.” Besides, knowing and understanding addiction is not enough. Not when you want to conquer it.

I’ll spend the next three days re-learning addiction. From the website in this section:

Addiction is powerful. Quitting smoking is hard because your own brain is working against your efforts to quit. In this section, you’ll learn just HOW powerful addiction to cigarettes can be, and in later sections, you’ll learn some proven strategies to help you beat it.