A good manager, director—person, should constantly toe the line. We can live neither in the world of “yes,” or “no.” To do so means that our priorities and our boundaries are out of wack. Saying “yes” all the time, trying to make everyone like you through avoiding confrontation, will never work. There will simply always be someone who will never be pleased. You’re the only one who loses. While you may think that others will value you more if you please them, this is actually faulty logic. They will value you less. They will take for granted that no matter how half-cocked their planning, you will simply get the task done. This means that you’re the only one who is accountable for the result and most likely the only one who is stressed. Determine first what your work priorities are: protecting your people, managing relevant projects or improving your division—and it will become easier to know when to say “no.”

Say “No” by Offering an Alternate Solution

Everyone wants to be liked, but this is not ever going to be possible. For instance, I can’t even see you and I hate that shirt. Don’t EVER wear it again.

Seriously, no matter how gently you try to say “no,” you’re going to ruffle somebody’s tail-feathers. That doesn’t mean that you have to be labeled difficult. In fact, you will likely be labeled a problem solver if you offer an alternate solution. If someone requests a task that you are unable or unwilling to complete, first think about whether there is someone else who is better qualified to fill the gap. Don’t look at this as passing the buck. Look at this as being efficient. For example, in my department, we have a freelance budget, so if there is something that really shouldn’t be completed in our department, we can seek approval to farm it out. The request for approval will sometimes recover the unreasonableness of the request to your superior. Sometimes this is enough to stop these types of requests.

Create a Self-Service Option

Another way to find an alternate solution is to create a self-service option for the person making the request. For instance, let’s suppose that the IT department generates a report each month that it houses on its servers. Every month, the Sales Director asks you for the report. Instead of being the go-between, why not find a way to have IT place the report in a central location so that the Sales Director can pull the report herself? This is not only a helpful solution, it eliminates the need for your involvement.

Build Up Some Currency in the Bank of “No”

If you don’t have a freelance budget and cannot find an appropriate alternate solution,  take some time to brainstorm with your staff and with your boss. Again, bringing the nature of the request to your boss’ attention will likely eliminate a lot of the ridiculousness that goes on in corporate American. Politely tell the requestor that you need to think about how to get the request done and that you’ll get back to him. Then, call him back and complete the request. Your ability to say yes will increase your ability to say “no.” If you are a person who generally says “yes,” people will take you seriously when you finally have to say “no.”

Want to know more? Read about my personal experience with learning to say “no.”