I’m standing outside at the edge of the road staring at the few inches of snow that cover the cars, the trees and the roadway. This is extremely unusual. It’s so unusual, in fact, that the Governor has declared a state of emergency. But I haven’t come out into these wintry conditions to enjoy this anomaly. Oh no. I am traversing this winter tundra because I need the one item I forgot to pick up last night: tampons. Damn.

It’s too cold to walk to the store. I’m already irritated. As I turn back toward my house, I have a eureka moment. Instead of making the trek to the nearest Harris Teeter on foot, I’ll ask a neighbor. I am now in search of a vagina.

Preferably a young one.

It takes quite a bit of courage to send the first text message. I’m very relieved when there is no immediate response. Then I realize that I’ll have to go door to door. Egads.

Luckily, my downstairs neighbor is out of town, and her house-sitter answers the door. I know this is a strange request. I swallow hard. But do you know if Sherry has any…(gulp)…tampons I can borrow? Sherry won’t want these back. Sherry is menopausal. But! She has a box of unused tampons that I can have. Thank you, Lord! My task is now complete. I have overcome my anxiety and allowed myself to be vulnerable to a stranger. It shouldn’t have been this easy. But it is. Overcoming your “performance” anxiety, in any way that it manifests, is actually quite simple. Whether it’s cold-calling potential clients, asking for the sale, knocking on a neighbor’s door to help your daughter sell Girl Scout Cookies, or getting up on stage to sing, the strategy is the same—practice being vulnerable.

Vulnerability or Weakness?

When we think about being vulnerable, we think about being exposed to emotional pain or to critique. Only a 40lb weakling would expose herself to that, right? But the alternative to vulnerability is actually what causes weakness. Opening yourself up to new challenges and to greater self-actualization requires vulnerability. In order to overcome performance anxiety, we have to first get vulnerable.

Exploit Your Insecurity

Insecurities are a part of life. But when your insecurities get in the way of successful relationships or personal/professional growth, it’s time to do something about it. Try this: instead of pushing insecurity away, exploit it. Instead of closing yourself to an experience that you so desperately want, do the very thing that creates your insecurity. Have low self-esteem? Sign up for a salsa class to become more confident in your sexuality. Find it hard to start a conversation with the opposite sex? Try a lunch dating service. In opening yourself up to these new activities, you’ll find new ways to relate to others–and to yourself.

Say What You Really Want to Say–Even If You Shouldn’t

Who the hell writes a post about looking for tampons? (Crickets.) Well, me. I have severe performance anxiety. What better way to be vulnerable than to post about a bleeding vajay-jay? (Okay, that was just waaay over the top, but you get my point, right?) In exposing myself to the pending disapproval over this post content, I’ll get closer to my goal. Other people’s insecurities do not have to affect my ability to grow. And, the more vulnerability I can deal with off-stage, the easier it will become to go on-stage.

Embarrass Yourself

Lastly, and this is radical, set out to embarrass yourself. Tell a bad joke in a crowded room and hear the pin drop. You’ll survive. Wear mis-matched clothes to the grocery, then smile at the people who stare. Those looks won’t change you. Others’ judgments can’t hurt you.

Get vulnerable to get better.

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