It’s Day 2 of becoming an ex and I have to say that I am pleased with my progress thus far. It’s pretty shocking to come to the realization that I smoke for any reason—and no reason at all. But, I have found that some of the guilt and stress of being a closet smoker is quelled because now I know that I have a plan. I know that there is some end in sight for this addiction, and I am happily moving toward it.

I chose the EX program from becomeanex.org to help myself with this problem. I have tried the program before, but did not do my due diligence with all of the steps. I was impatient.  Because of this, I never quit smoking, and I never escaped the cycle of addiction: craving, gratification, worry and guilt. This time, I believe that I will be completely smoke free by the end of January 2010.

The Program

This program is broken up into three phases, and I’m in Phase I. This entails re-learning the habit, identifying your triggers and tracking your cigarettes for three days. This process has caused me to really focus on when, where and why I smoke. This sort of mindfulness is really helpful. It increases my level of confidence. Simply, by understanding the process of when, where and why I smoke, I have started to feel like I have some control over the process. Also, tracking my cigarettes, like I am doing with Daytum, really puts my habit into perspective for me and in plain view for all the world to see. I’m embarrassed and enlighted, disgusted and empowered. Hoo-rah.

Tomorrow is my last day of tracking. On January 1, I’ll start Phase II – Separation. More on this to come. For now, my goal is to make it through tomorrow without smoking more cigarettes than I smoked today. I’m not going to push myself to beat it—just not to exceed it. So far, though, I am super excited to be working this process.